Feeling like the oldest Sklorno at the family picnic*

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a decent night’s sleep. And so I did what we all do, I reached for the caffeine(1,3,7-trimethylxanthine if you’re nasty.)

And it seemed like no matter how much I tried to sleep I couldn’t. I’d either wake up throughout the night, be unable to sleep for hours,or wake up hours early and toss and turn.

I suspected congestion, I suspected bruxism, I even suspected apnea.

I knew that one of my medications had an affinity for the same liver enzyme that’s used to clear caffeine out of the body, and that it could make one cup of coffee feel like five.

I didn’t know it could cause caffeine’s typical 6 hour half-life to extend to well over 24 hours. I mean. The chart STOPPED at 24 hours but the little line was still hardly dipped down from its peak.

So. I read that and dumped my massive caramel something-or-other with double shots down the sink.

It’s strictly decaf from here on out,or at least as long as I’m on this medication.

Upshot is I am in withdrawal and derping so hard I did my eyebrows with lipliner the other day. Fun!

Better living through chemistry, bitches.

*Barbecued.

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